Let's add this one to the list of "what the heck was this kid trying to tell me?" One of the challenging things about being itinerant is the lack of a buddy to call over to help out with decoding the kids.
The (mostly signed) conversation:
Me: How are you? (I always ask for an emotion, rather than 'fine' or 'good')
Me: Happy why?
(Insert blank stare, followed by 3 minutes of me giving examples of what 'why' means in this context.)
Kid: Happy knock-knock pillow.
(At this point I knew this was going to be interesting. Any clue what she's talking about?)
Me: Knock-knock? Knock-knock where? (Ok, doesn't know 'where'. We're working on that.)
Knock-knock school? (No.) Knock-knock home? (No.)
Kid: Knock-knock. Pillow. Three. One. (Yes! Halloween. Now... pillow??? Got it! Do you?)
Me: Oh! You are happy Halloween is soon. You will trick-or-treat and people will put candy in your pillowcase.
Kid: Knock-knock. Pillow. Candy. Yes.
Awesome. Let's just scrap the planned lesson and work on Halloween vocabulary. Thirty minutes later, she was able to tell about Halloween, pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, costumes, trick-or-treating, all words she did not know.
Really, I actually love days like that, where I get to think on my feet and I know that what the student walked away with was immediately applicable. Little wins :)
This is a text I sent last Friday:
"This would be a picture of the manure truck I was following on my way home, leaving my car sprayed with a fine mist of cow shit. I'm pretty sure it is a metaphore."
These past few weeks have not been amazing, and a lot seems like it is sad and wrong. It's too easy to get bogged down in that and forget all that is right; there is a lot that is right.
So, I'm turning it around. making better days, and remembering to celebrate the little "wins".
Disneyland this weekend will definitely help.
I started back to work last Thursday, which was really quite traumatic.
Today, as I was delivering FMs to mainstream teachers, I had the thought that for the first few days of work I function basically as a door-to-door salesman.
"Excuse me ma'am, may I have just a moment of your time? No? Busy you say? This will only take a minute..." *Sets up props*
"Did you hear rumor that you are the proud new teacher of a student that just won't listen? One ear? No ears? Fancy ear accessories?... Do I have a product for you!!! For only the price of your fashion sense, here is what you get!"
"This is our T30. A lovely, sleek, newer model, best on the market. I had to drive a hard bargain with my dealer to get my hands on so many of these (You should see what the other guys are using!)."
"Not interested you say? Your voice is loud enough? You are known school-wide for your vocal prowess? You were the 1973 West Fresno yodeling champ? Fabulous! But! Alas, I am sorry to say... your predecessor has already locked you into an annual contract... see, I have it right here."
*Shuffles for IEP*
"Now, in addition to this amazing technological marvel comes tech support, and a warranty (no, no, not because this student broke 2 of this same model last year... it's because we love and appreciate you... really!)."
"You are my lucky 10th sale of the day! And because the thermometer just hit 110 degrees, you get the bonus prize! It's me! 3 days a week!"
"I will assist your student with their similes, synonyms, and sentence structure, teach them their animals, alphabet, and antonyms. Talk to them about basketball, breakfast, and birth control. Categories? California history? Calculus? I have it covered."
"Did I mention that your student prefers a boom mic? No? Must have forgot... No worries though. It make you look like a rock star... Like Madonna... Only younger. And prettier. Swear!"
*Thrust equipment at teacher, back away quickly*
"See? Only took a moment. Thank you for your time."
note- This is a dramatization, any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Really. Promise.
Thanks to Joanna for confirming that I am not totally crazy; the announcers really do sound inappropriate (I fixed my comment settings for you.)
Random conversation/situation I found hilarious (political affiliation aside):
I was at Farmer's Market, bought some veggies and handed the vender my money. My change was five dollars short. When I pointed this out to him, he replied, "Oooh... sorry, we're on the Obama change program, we're going to take your five dollars and give it to someone who didn't work for it."
It was a very unexpected moment in my day, I laughed pretty hard.
Day 1 of the Olympics! So far I've been half watching a lot of archery, volleyball, and rowing while pretending to actually accomplish some real work. So, you know how you are half listening to the TV, hear something, then turn to the TV an ask it "What did you just say???", but then only have basic cable and can't rewind? Yeah, that was my afternoon.
This is the text I sent Michelle earlier, sans the actual quotes from the announcers: "Maybe it's just me and my dirty mind, but listening to the commentary on the rowing competition makes me giggle uncontrollably: [Possibly because I think like a 13 yr. old boy.] Really. Are you even allowed to say that on TV?"
brisk stroke rates
going at it as a single rider, double, quad, and octi
also, no joke, to "catch a crab"
The list goes on and on. Seriously, I looked up some of the terms they used on Wiki, just to make sure the announcers wern't just messing with us.
I am obviously not mature enough to watch the Olymics.